Kiss
Puke
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize