just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
