the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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