Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
