I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
