oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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