Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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