so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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