it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
