i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
