And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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