He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
