Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
