Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
