Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
