Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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