An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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