he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do herpes really smell.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize