respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
