He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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