Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So much rum. So many feels.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
