You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
