He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
