Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize