I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
