How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize