scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
