This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
