what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize