Redeem this text for a blowjob
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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