Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
