I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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