Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
