suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
