apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
