i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
