I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
