she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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