Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
