I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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