You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
