if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize