i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize