GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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