The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm too high and old for this...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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