That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
