You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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