You're my little dorito
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
