I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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