I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
