bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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