He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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