Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
