kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
