she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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