We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
