Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
