i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it penis luge time yet?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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