i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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