I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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