I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
