There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
