yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
