Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
