So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize