He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
