The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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