Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
