I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
