I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
