I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
