My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
